Where is HOME? COVID-19, a message that home calls.

Where is HOME? 

Have you ever asked yourself what defines a home, or  how home feels like, especially if you are an immigrant like me. As an African immigrant to America, I know how it feels to be an outsider, a lone traveler, there are times that I ponder on where to call home.

 How can you grade the ease you feel wherever you are, and call it home? HOME!! It is that profound that  the dictionary confuses the definition of home.

Again, I ask you my friend, where is home on this journey of ours?
How do you feel at HOME?
 What defines home from your own perspective: is it your feeling, experience or the CORE?

"EVEN people whose lives have been made by LEARNING, sometimes find it hard to keep a fast hold on their habitual views of life, on their faith in the invisible -- nay, on the sense that their past joys and sorrows are a real experience, when they are suddenly transported to a new land, where the beings around them know nothing of their history, and share none of their ideas- where their mother EARTH shows another lap, and human life has other forms than those on which their SOULS have been nourished." ( Excerpt from Silas Marner by George Eliot).

Home, or how we define home is worth reflecting on, the  COVID-19 pandemic outbreak makes me ponder more as to where to really call home, or if we even have a 'home' in this transient journey of ours.

Of course, I see you agree with me that maybe we don't really have a home in this life. Well,  it is right, or slightly right.

Let us assume that we do not have a home in here: what is the PURPOSE of this journey?

One thing that I will love that you understand is that;without death, life is worthless; death adds meaning to life, if you have lost loved ones, you will definitely agree with me that most of the times, we get to realize how much those loved ones worth after their death, SubhanaLlaah!  So, what then defines our purpose of existence, our value , or do you deny that there is a purpose for your existence? Maybe I should construct the question as to how do you add value to your life, or the lives of others?  It is certain that we all are going to die, YOU will leave, I will leave, what do you wan to leave behind? What do you want to be remembered for?

On this transient journey, we have basic needs which will help our purpose achievable- make life WHOLE and fulfilling. We ought to understand that we have numerous choices in life beyond survival, we need to discover that purpose, and create VALUES and standards to integrate transformation into our lives by reconnecting and taking advantage of our INNATE power - maybe we can know what HOME means to us as an individual.

As we embark on this journey, we should be ready to evolve and recover what home means, that innate part of ours- located in our hearts, and tap into its power, and this is our struggle, each one of us go through that struggle and it is real: how we fight it is what defines us.

Home is love - with love we will discover humility, we will view our reality relative to our level of awareness or consciousness, then we will realize how home has ever been with us WHEREVER we GO, then we can make choices to decide whether to let our EGO, greed, destructive desires or negativity rob us of HOMELY feelings, the SERENE feeling that we are SAFE, by being MINDFUL and conscious of  how Supreme God is, and then maybe we can control our actions and thoughts; remember you cannot control death or how it will meet you, but you can control what you would be remembered for!

COVID -19 is never a coincident, it is a REMINDER, corvid, the black eyed birds;
[“Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?” – Friedrich Nietzsche]. I was talking to a learned friend of mine, who  is presently a member of WHO fellowship, which makes her get direct update about the pandemic, as well as how hard the CDC are working or researching on COVID-19, and she said, "nothing about this VIRUS makes sense", at least for now it doesn't make sense, it is confusing, not only because it is new, but it keeps the WORLD in a panic state; how ironic. An evident of how Mighty Allah is. AlhamduliLLaah.

It is unfortunate that we neglect the essential human needs; unconditional LOVE, guidance, safety,listening,being real,participating,acceptance,opportunity to grieve,respect,validation,tolerance of feelings(we even deny negative emotions, instead of responding to heal), SUPPORT,loyalty,trust,accomplishments,creativity,sexuality(yes, for the married)freedom, and above all NURTURING of our SOUL. We now live in a world of DENIAL, hatred,CHAOS,denial of reality and feelings(instead of taking appropriate actions),mistreatment,low self esteem,guilt and STRESS.

Maybe when this social isolation is over, the wise will realize how CONNECTED we are and supposed to be, as well as how important  KNOWLEDGE  is and how we strive in seeking the right and responding ones for our own sake. COVID-19 is a process and it will past, but it is a reminder to reflect on.

A reminder that this journey called LIFE is a process, you as an individual need to connect with the PURPOSE of that process, before you make sense out of it. The question is, are you playing your part? Do you know the purpose, and are you practicing it? Then you are HOME.

The earlier we start to be aware and AWAKE that innate BEAUTY, the earlier we will understand the CORE; then TRANSFORMATION and hopefully we can return home as a serene BEING- maybe, just maybe we can feel SAFE even in the face of global CHAOS.

Be fulfilled and realize where home is.

I pray that you and I are blessed with clarity and CONTENTMENT; I pray against emptiness and FRUSTRATION.

Soon we shall get there; HOME, if we are willing to go BACK with the right baggage, so we will not be on exile , nor have our hope vanished.

BE HOPEFUL ......nourish your SOUL with the right FOOD.
HOME is where you are YOU without neglecting your CORE.
HOME is LOVE.
HOME is that innate POWER.
HOME is where you BELONG.
HOME is your RETURN.
HOME is ever with YOU.
------------------------

"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient."

........Al-Hadid 57:16

Be AWARE

The voice I crave to share.....

Those who think they know, know nothing.

Those who are bold enough to ask are either being thoughtful or deceitful

Those who say the truth are bold enough to be vulnerable.

Those who don't say the truth are either careful or being foolish.

Those who turn out the hands of help earn nobody a reward but themselves.

Those who seek help are wise.

Those who don't ask for help when they need it, fools nobody  but themselves or they are being adaptive

Those who accept or question authority are being courageous

Those who assume what is not are being delusional

Those who are loyal followers will be nothing but great leaders.

Those who abuse their leadership power earns nobody's wrath but Allah's.

Those who are claim to be good observant forget the BLUR.

Not all you think is truth is true, get to the root or be just within the context.


Not all those who are quiet are introspective.

Not all those who talk are stupid.

Not all those who help you are feeding their EGO, some may be giving a hand.

Not all those who accept your help are using you, they may be giving you a chance.

Not all those who wander are lost, you better be careful what you feed your thoughts. 

Not all those who come out seeks attention.

Not everyone who reads this will have the same experience of IT.


BE AWARE !!!!


Why not be on the safer side.... be curious about ideas and not other people, or be intentional with your curiosity.



These are some of what I used to say when I was little and get beaten most of the times, except for my parents who taught me how to share my views. Today I am a year OLDER and I am grateful for GROWTH, my Parents, the power of perspectives, and INTERCONNECTION, AlhamdulLilLaAh!

 Again, I am grateful for soul connection, I am grateful for you reading this piece, no matter what relationship we share, I am grateful.


Every year I come off my cocoon, promise myself a new GOAL, share my VOICE without violating, TO LIVE and GIVE ROOMS.



make communication EFFECTIVE.
be clear about BOUNDARIES.
RESPECT other's boundaries.
be FLEXIBLE.





To
{

Live and give rooms.
Know your values.

Be strong, know your weaknesses.
Be beautiful, know your flaws.

Be wise, learn from your mistakes.

continue to fall in love with the process of being your best version.


Then,

laugh with your eyes,
smile with your heart,
hug with your soul.

And

Be so positive that people crave your energy.

}

Be prepared for hate
Brunt of jokes
But be Authentic

And  be
AWARE of everyone's UNIQUENESS.



____________________________



PS: DO NOT FORGET TO PASS THIS ON.

THANK YOU!!!!

Are you LIBERATED?

When people talk about "creating their realities", I always feel like a weird one, because I do not entirely agree with the saying.

Why?

How do you define your REALITY  when you refuse to face the one right in front of you? has always been my question. I find it hard to belief that we can neglect a phase which is supposed to be prerequisite to another.

As an enthusiast who loves to explore people, I realize how comparison syndrome is killing us all, how we fail to accept that our realities are different and unique. It is understandable that we can learn from other people or be influenced by others, but this should never have made us forget how our nature is similar to the minerals of earth, how our problems and experiences can not be fully identical.

Looking back at how challenging the first year of my migration to America was to my personality, how I have many realities that people refuse to understand, and how many takes it as the greatest achievement, I was finding it hard to adapt, as a private, strong willed girl of so many dreams, it was a so-so experience, and it was exhausting at the beginning, until I shut down many external plug ins, and that is one thing I love about myself, before anything, I respect my sanity, and this love for myself and my soul has been helpful when the going gets tough.

 Understanding and accepting Realities!

Every individual has its reality, it is pathetic as many of us see our realities staring at us, yet we refuse to accept it, we follow the crowd, aimlessly.

Why?

Social EXPECTATIONS.

You want to be good by everyone, (which is good), but is it detrimental to your purpose?

Yes,
No,
Maybe not....

I remember how people had so much to say, so many to advice, so many to teach, when I moved to America. My husband and I got married with a goal in mind, and as a team we play our roles towards the goal, our reality, and this did not stop people from having a thing or two to say.

A lot told me how I have to double my hustle,
How I need to shine my eyes,

Some tell me to be careful in the mirage, to not let the society get my kids.

Some even told my husband to not let his wife  overshadow him(lol).

And others told me to be independent, many others told me to take my time, that the country is a trap, and the list goes on.

Did anyone ask me what I wanted?

No,

Do they care about me?
Yes, they do, in their own way.

What is my reality?

I am a Muslim woman, I know my rights and my responsibilities, and I have a VISION.

To live a CONFIDENT and CAREFREE life. I have some many coming in, so many talking, so many looking up to me;  but, little or non listening. Or offer to ask me what I want.

We as humans, we have been carried away in what others expect of us, that we neglect ourselves. Our purpose, and our reality.

So, what is your reality?

To me, my reality is my present, the moment, and being in-tune with my inner state.

I wanna be good by everyone around me, but EH, what do I have on my table right NOW, and am I flowing with it?

Is my leg grounded on its root with my head up right and feet standing straight?

These are questions we should ask ourselves, our REALITY, not what we want to do to make others see how good we are, rather it should be how SANE we are, and how true, real, and SINCERE we are with that reality.

The pursuit of perfection limits our ability to be present and literally robs us of the vitality of life. We forget that our time would be far better spent in delving into how to heal the insecurity that catalyzed the desire for perfection. We live in a terribly misplaced goal,  often to serve as a compensation for what really troubles us, neglecting the present. Forgetting that we can only get CLARITY  if we are present in the moment and flow with it, we get delusional in fears, ego, and hate for ourselves. 

What I have observed from exploring people is that, most people don't sit down to truly analyze their reality, they do not take the time to go to the roots, rather they prefer to be spoon fed on what can work on the surface, they prefer to get a temporary dose of bliss, while it is true that we cannot get all that we wanted in this life, but, are we really making an effort to see through what impact we are making on the reality. Do we agree with our heads rather than our hearts, or vice versa, what do you truly pursue?

Who are you?
Who am I?

What are your traits of CONDUCT?

So many times, I really do wonder how people think they can neglect the NOW, while chasing the next.

My dear friend reading this,, I hope and pray that this write up helps you to practice MINDFULNESS, to be fully in tune with the reality that you have at hand, while truly striving for what you desire, that way, you can truly see through and beyond the BOX. That way, you can decide to explore and connect with YOU, to set your priorities rights, to answer the questions to who you really are and what you bring to the table.

Breathe,

Exhale,

Be present,

And yes,

How about you and I take a few moments to be in the MOMENT and embrace  gratitude.

To gain mental strength.

To be happy with YOU.
To find equilibrium and a calm state of MIND.To build your SELF esteem.

To be TRUE with your PRESENT.
To connect with your innate BEAUTY.To face the fear wholeheartedly and STAND Tall and BOLD.To get CLARITY.
To say YES
to your REALITY.

And STRIVE TO THRIVE.

Say YES to YOU.

In

Your

Present.

Sincerely.

Who are you?

Are you taking responsibility for your GROWTH?

How about you nurture yourself to be beautiful IN and OUT.

And STRIVE TO THRIVE SINCERELY. 

WHO ARE YOU?
.......and how are you contributing to your growth?

principle for GROWTH.

Yes please.

Now that everyone who writes is said to be depressed, I guess I am ready to claim that too, that I am depressed to how we fail to set our boundaries or how we do not let people know their limits in relating to us, and thus we keep them in a limbo. 

We enslave them in our own insecurities. 

So many times, I am seen people get frustrated over what others do to them, but they refuse to let it slip off their minds, and instead of making it cleared that they do not tolerate to be treated in a certain way, they rather prefer an approach which keeps the other person confused as to what kind of relationship they share.

Most of the time, we forget that people comes and goes in our lives, and all that we need is a sincere us and goal we aim to attain in that relationship. We forget that letting an issue slip, or talking it is different and much better than keeping it to ourselves, and then treating the other person in a passive manner aggressively. 

As much as it is understandable that so issues are better left, how about what it has done to our emotions or self esteem. We go in denial of our own emotions, instead of a proper approach to resolve the conflict, or personality clash.

Effective communication is very important in every genuine relationship, especially if it is long term, as this helps to resolve amicably and let every party know its stands in the relationship, without trespassing.

It will hurt, it will be hard but it is best to be resolved, if it will not go off our minds.

As much as people tend to abuse forgiveness, it is still better that you make them apologize for that which you think they did to you. And if truly they are interested in the relationship, you have to be on a common ground.

It is better and healthier to let people know how choked you are around them , or how miserable they make you feel when they cross the line. 

So many times we refuse to let accept our share of the cake, how our insecurities is enslaving us, just because we do not like to be called a troublemaker, neglecting the fact that unresolved conflict is detrimental to our relationships.

We all run away, but one person has to be the troublemaker, or we go at our distances for peace. 

I am depressed,

Yes I am,

To why we really never let it slip, but piling it up.

I am depressed to how we treat our closed by aggressively.

I am depressed to how the way to manage a passive aggressor is to be manipulative or being a passive aggressor.

I am depressed as to why we be in denial, claiming gentillity.

I am depressed to how we fail to call ourselves to orders sincerely.

I am depressed to how we think we run away from trouble, whereas we have trouble in how minds.

I am depressed as to how much we laugh and play but when conflict comes we run away, we run away because we are in denial, because we do not want to be seen as a troublemaker.

Yes,

I am depressed

I am a troublemaker

And I ask

Who are you?

Who am I?

And

I say,

What is really pulling us apart is SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS.

Fall and its MESSAGE.

The breeze came knocking last month,

With a blissful breezy sensation,

And a message:

“FALL is here”

It said.

***

Each day,

I breathe a sigh of RELIEF,

And remember fall

with its message.

Fall brings with it

Pain and

Glad tidings.

Fall brings with it

Loss: when the leaves fall.

Then,

Resurrection – the tree is REBORN.

***

Fall brings with it

Resilience: when the wind shakes the tree,

Yet,

It resists – and hold onto its root.

Fall brings with it

Patience: when the tree waits for a new bloom,

Beautifully,

It blossoms – and the fallen leaves beautify the earth.

Fall brings with it

Growth: when the tree emerges from the shook.

Stronger,

It thrives – and strives from within.

***

Each day,

I breathe a sigh of RELIEF,

And remember fall

And its message.

Fall comes and goes with its message: that -

“There is a bliss after every blast”

Fall is here,

And I am grateful for every new day,

I let the BREEZE sink in,

Swing BREEZILY through my fear,

Hoping on My Lord with a strong FAITH.

...........inhale the glad tidings

-          Ummuh Aiman

What Driving in America thought me.

WHAT DRIVING ON AMERICA ROAD THOUGHT ME. 




 ******


For a while now, I have been driving on the highway, and each time, I have always been having this musing; that every bit of the drive is a message. I had wanted to write about it, but I always end up not putting it together. 


Yesterday, I had a funny experience, and that prompted me to share this reflection I kept having whenever I am on the road. I was supposed to be at a workshop as early as 8:30am. AlhamdulliLah, my husband was home, so I left the kids with him and left for the place early. Unfortunately, when I got there, I met another lady, she told me she had been waiting, that the security wouldn't open up. Then we got to realize that the workshop had been canceled (it was really cold yesterday, guess that made them to cancel). The lady said, she would go back to the library and all, to ask how they made the decision without any prior notice. I had to head home, because I already told my husband that it's been canceled.


 Although, there is this other place that I had to go(it didn't occur to me to head onto the place, until I was already on the highway). First, it was my first time on that particular highway, so I had to use the GPS. As I remembered, I took my phone, and wrote the address , so that I could renavigate, my phone went blank(really did not know what happened). I couldn't get the direction to my house, and there was an exit adjacent to me, I was contemplating whether to go towards it or keep moving.

Suddenly,I heard a horn, it felt like I was awaken from a slumber(lol). Then a man passed by me and gave me that sign(the f*); I realized that I was running at a low speed-- no wonder the guy got pissed off. And that triggered to reflect on the musings I always get while driving on the highway.

 ********* 


Driving on America road has always been reflective to me, compared to back home in Nigeria, where I come from. I could remember when I was in New York, I had several road tests, before I finally passed and got my license issued to me.


 On America roads, there are rules and law enforcement. It is like we all are given bylaws , and that must be adhered to strictly( like my people do say: when there is rules, there is punishment).


 You cannot drive on America road without knowing the rules; else you may encounter deadlock (this is not where I am going, though). So, what has always been my reflection.



 1. We have rules that must be followed, not only because of ourselves, but every other driver on the ROAD, and this brings me to the first point: our INTERCONNECTION ~ each time I drive, and my gaze meets another driver, my thought has always been that we are all connected, whereas most of us do not know that or arrogantly ignore that fact. How are we connected? And how can this interconnection affect us? The first instance of our interconnection is that we are all driving on that particular road, at that precise time, and at the given speed limit(minimum, or maximum ).

Every driver going at that time has to keep watching its mirror to stay alerted as to what move the vehicles around it takes. We may all be going to different destinations, but on that highway; we have things in common, and how we handle this is a core factor.


 When I say INTERCONNECTION, I do not mean just the physical or logical meaning; from my programmer's POV -- I mean that, RENEWAL-ENERGY, that is driving us( I can remember when I was in college, my OS professor, God rest her soul, whenever she gets to the scheduling algorithm part, she takes it so personally.

 Now as I grow, I see what she meant). The more we understand science, the more we would appreciate nature and the essence of our existence. And this takes me to the next point.



 2. That obstacles is inevitable, as we move along, at some points, there can be obstacles, and if care is not taken, how every party concerned reacts to this will gives a long way in determining the establishment of road rage. 

An instance is what happened to me yesterday; I know I made the mistake of taking that decision at the middle of the road, and that made me an obstacle to that man, and I do not have to blame him for whatever way he decided to respond, for I do not know what was going on in his life, and to how my slow pace influenced his journey.


 This is relatable to the journey of our lives, as we move along, we are most likely gonna get entangled at some point. And our response to this goes a long way to how we would carry on with the journey- In sha Allah!


             What are the OBSTACLES ? And HOW do you THINK is the best way to go about it?

What are YOU relying on to past this phase?are crucial questions we need to ask ourselves whenever the deadlock comes knocking.

 The fact is that, in a way, we all have this drama moments in our life, and this goes with the next measure.


 3. It is never a RACE, no, it was never meant to be a RACE with anyone.

 Whenever I get stuck up with people that run at a high speed than me;I always remember that we are not in a car race, not supposed to be, I do not let their pace get to me, I am cautious as to what speed I run.

     Is this speed what I can control, when it gets out of hand?

 At some points, we may need to keep up with the speed we go. But,as to why? And what is at stake?

 This to our life's journey is that our LIVES is never meant to be a competition with anybody but OURSELVES. How we control the energy within us, how we are able to control our destructive desires, and what are our GOALS?

Does our battle WITHIN align with our PURPOSE. And how does it reflect to everyone around us. On the highway, if I run at the pace, is it really what I can keep up with? Or can I do better than this without losing control?

 What are the control system, kept in place? Can I be conscious enough to control the accelerator? And to our lives, how are we connecting to our innate beauty?


 4. That our DESTINATIONS is not always the same; as connected as we are on the road, our EXITS is not always same. Likewise our life JOURNEY, no matter how strong our relationship is with other people, the journey is not always the same. We go different places, we meet different people, people come and go in our lives, yes, we are connected: making it a blessing or a curse is on us. What imprints are we living on another person's life? How do we show up?


Do we get to our destinations without causing obstacles to other people? As we drive on the highway, we all move in the same direction, at the given speed LIMIT, but do I keep driving when I get to my exit? NO!


 I have to drive towards my exit point and the amazing thing is that, when we drive towards this point, the speed limit is reduced, and there is a need to control the rate that I was coming with, so as not to lost track.


 No matter how fast we all drive, we can not go beyond our EXITS.

 Another amazing fact is that: if one is driving so fast and drove passed the exit point, he will have to go through driving time before he gets to an exit, which will hopefully lead him to his destination. Isn't that similar to our lives?

 How AMAZING!! Subhannallah!!!! 

 5. There is always law enforcement agents on the road. As annoying as I always find the GPS telling me that there is a speed trap on the road, I still have to be sure I am not driving too high, and this is inspiring to me, because, I do not want to get into any trouble with the police. So, I am careful, and maintain a controllable speed. 

How the speed trap works is that: police are stationed in some hidden places along the road, to check if any driver does not comply with the limit, and such drivers would be caught and most likely get their license revoked. 

All drivers are always cautious when the GPS says that a speed trap is ahead of them.

Sometimes, people get caught, and sometimes they don't. Even if they do not get caught -- if that speed is what the driver cannot control, something is gonna get caught with him.... Reality of life! 

Imagine if we all are conscious in the law given by our CREATOR, how amazing our stay, our journey would be, together. As some people try to bring out best, some bring out the beast in them, as we move along together.

 Truth is that:  we all have this drama season in our lives, how do we show up for it? 

How do we reconnect to our FITRAH , that innate beauty of ours, and see if we are really following the rules given unto us? 

 We all have rights over ourselves, how do I show up? And how do you show up? 

 Most of the problem in this life of ours is caused by misplaced priorities, neglected rights and responsibilities. We all are victim of opportunity cost, and what anyone decide to choose as his/her scale of preferences determines who and what will become of him/her - In sha Allah. 

 If I keep writing to what muse I get driving on America road, I would keep writing and it is never going to end, because it is similar to the journey of our lives, and as far as we are still alive, and still moving, it is not going to be over.




 **********



 I pray that Allah continues to guide and guard all our efforts in driving towards our purpose of existence, and make our stays and exit a blessing, and success in this life and hereafter. Aamiyn ____________


 PS: I later went to the other place that I was supposed to go, and I am grateful I did. ALHAMDULLILAH. I met two beautiful people, and I it was a time well spent together. .... alhamdulliLah




 PPS: So many times, Allah sends us messages through our INSTINCTS; sometimes we respect our instincts and take heed, and some other times we let our ego or emotions get us. 


Two moments in our lives are critical: our happiest and bitter moments. A test of Humility and Patience. I pray that we all go through these moments successfully.



 As Salam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakhatuhu.

Lesson from LITTLE ONES.

Last month, on a beautiful Friday morning, I decided that I want to make Friday my day off external distractions. I turned off my phone all through the day( alhamdulliLah....I have been able to maintain this, every bit of it is a bliss, making always looking forward to the next Frida.)

On that same Friday, I had an inspiring experience.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I wanted to get to the masjid early, so, I had the kids' clothes ironed before we bathed.

Did justice to my little girl's dress; had it placed somewhere I believed she cannot reach.  After I had my bath, I ran the bath for the older one, so I could dry my hair.

I heard "mummy"

Oops, it came through the door.....alas!! My madam had gotten herself dressed up( even though she wore it wrong).

In my head, I was like "Subhannallah!! This girl has messed up the clothes I ironed ..." , then suddenly I heard

"Mummy mummy, look at her, she can wear her clothes by herself, she is now GROWN Maa sha Allah!!"

That was her brother, he was do amazed about it, and he was RIGHT; that didn't even get into my head when I first saw her.

Subhannallah, what my boy said was a stroke of genius, and it erased my initial thought, I smiled, praised the madam, then we laughed it off.

____________________________________
*REFLECTION*

When I saw the little girl, was my thought right?

Yes, it was very right (from my own point of view).

Of course, she messed  up the clothes.

But, come to think of it.......

How about my older one; was his POV right?

Na'am, perfectly RIGHT.  He was right, and at that instance, he was more right than I was (in my opinion).

WHY?

As a CONSCIOUS parent, the approach I adapt is looking through the children's eyes -- that way I have been able to help them manage their COGNITIVE and AFFECTIVE skills(because I believe that every experience  in early childhood is paramount) , alhamdulliLah(not easy, but the product of the journey is worth the patience bi idnillah).

So, why did I say he was right?

My little girl is only 16 months, she has milestones to reach, she is THRIVING every single day.

That day was another important day in her development (which I am grateful for; I was not ready to let a piece of cloth soil the joy of another cognitive development).

She must have been keeping track of how we do it for her, then, when she saw the clothes, in her innocent eyes, she wants to give it a try, and she did.

As an adult, I wasn't able to picture that immediately, because I was concerned about the effort I put into ironing, and the time I was going to spend in doing it again( which is understandable); but the irony of my POV then was that, that 16 months old definitely doesn't know what was going on in my head or the stress. She was just trying something new.

How she can learn (in case of another time) is a factor of my attitude towards her; how I was able to make her understand RIGHT from WRONG.

*********************************

So, where am I driving at?

PERSPECTIVES  and SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE

So many times, we fall into PERSONALITY CLASH or CONFLICT  over TRIVIAL issues.

Why?

Perspectives.....

So many times, we judge other people, or we assume we are being judged.

Perspectives......

So many times, we REFUSE to LEARN, because we are not ready for a SHIFT of perspective.

 And this is where I am want to delve at:

Perspectives  or POINT OF VIEW.

How do we help ourselves, or save ourselves  in being entangled in personality clash.

**  By being AWARE of ourselves.
**  By being OPEN.
**  By knowing that it is never meant to be a COMPETITION anybody.
**  By KNOWING that we are responsible for ourselves, and what we bring upon ourselves.

Yes, how many times have we let our THOUGHTS about other people INFLUENCE our OPENNESS or how we perceive their POV.

How many time have we let our EGO override our sense of JUSTICE ( justice to respect other human, to appreciate their thoughts, to welcome them for WHO they are....)

How many times have we neglected our own IMPERFECTIONS?

Yes, your imperfections,
       My imperfections, or you  think what you are now is all by your doing(of course your made effort)?

Think AGAIN;

Na'am, SELF-CONFIDENCE is a virtue....how about SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS?

Girl, there are several other people that are better than you, and they are not what you are. It is a GRACE and a TEST (deal with it humbly, because you are accountable for it, and sure gonna face it ALONE).

So, my dear, our PERSPECTIVES or POV  can be influenced by several things, why not give other people EXCUSE and RESPECT their POV, you do not need to AGREE with them -- YES,

Rather, respect them for you know nothing about their thoughts.

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Our standpoint is factor of so many things(I repeat!!), you  don't know where they are coming from; show how great your WIT is and respect other people's perspectives.

LIVE AND GIVE ROOM FOR OTHERS....

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When I tell people my family home is challenging and a source of inspiration, that FRIDAY is one of the beautiful good days. alhamdulliLah

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And on the little ones, I will talk about it on my next episode on conscious parenting. In sha Allah

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PS: As Gary Chapman said  in his book; that "everyone has a love tank ....."

Fill it, and see what you get in returns.

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As Salam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakhatuhu,

Have  a great weekend 🌹

#innatelyBEAUTIFUL
#liveAndgiveRoom
#beYOU
#BEjust

Love from Ummuh Aiman ❣
https://yetunde-s-school-567d.thinkific.com/
innatelyBEAUTIFUL.com