The SHADES of Patience.

 Few days a ago when I was taking a walk with my family, my son who loves picking flowers, went for the rose. The beauty of the flowers and his enthusiasm clouded  his insight  or awareness of the thorns. "Mummy it hurts" I heard him called out. "Well, you have to RESPECT the THORNS when you want to go for the ROSE, else it will prick you." I told him.

Because I am dealing with a curious child, may Allaah bless him, and continue to preserve him upon goodness, we had a few sections talking about roses, their THORNS, and the BEAUTY. 

There is no ROSE without a thorn.

 This is one of my favorite quotes in relative to roses, and it resonates so well as I recently had a previous session with the group of sisters in our female Halaqa, where we talked about PATIENCE.  

Patience! Over the years that I have trained and still learning as an etiquette coach, I have seen PATIENCE as an important tool that most people neglect, abuse, or misunderstand.

My perspective or understanding of patience is influenced by many factors, one of which is when I had to stay with my maternal grandmother and her then best friend  turned sister-in- law, may Allaah have Mercy on their souls and widen their graves(Aamiyn). They were both wonderful people but with different personalities. I am smiling as I write this, it really was FUN and reflective spending time with "Iya Pupa" and "Iya Dudu" (that was what they were called, because of their complexions, and complementary perspectives and personalities.)  

Learning from those two old women was a gift that I am grateful for, AlhamdulilLaah. But hey, experience is not enough. As the mind is said to be a creature of habits which thrives upon the dominating THOUGHTS one feeds it. Not all knowledge that one accumulate through experience is accurate. As Allaah willed, I also had to spend two years with my grandmother in-law  after marriage, another beautiful experience with it's rose and thorns, may Allaah continue to preserve her upon goodness(the only grandma I have left). 

So, as I am growing with time by Allaah's Rahmah, intentionally, and intelligently exploring people, through acquired knowledge of interpersonal relationship, mostly from Islamic point of view, added with my past EXPERIENCES, I am able to define PATIENCE by the circumstances surrounding it, and this is what most people need to understand in regards to it. Nothing beats experience accompanied with required knowledge, alhamdulliLaah for the blessing of Islam which adds meaning to every experience. We as individuals have to have intentional relationships with the teachings of our Deen, as Allaah Subhannahu wa TaAlla has Ordered, the sayings of the Prophet, the companions and those who succeed them. Alaysalatu wasalam.

There are several MISCONCEPTIONS as to what patience really is, especially among women. An example is when a woman is in an abusive or toxic relationship and she keeps indulging it, quite ironic that is her own understanding of patience.  Indulging t animosity, which Allaah, subhanahu wa TaAlla warns us against. We are expected to forbid wrong, not indulge it, Allaah hates it, and it is obligatory on Muslims to stand against it. And by doing so, you do not only help yourself, but the oppressor. Some even term patience as accepting that which is DETRIMENTAL to their NAFS(souls), which is most likely draining them spiritually; that may result in them disobeying the commands of Allaah. So, what is the essence of the patience or tolerance, if you will end up being frustrated to the extent of harming your mental health, or slandering your fellow Muslim if you cannot call them to order. This is FALSE patience, then true definition of patience is forfeit. Patience does not mean we should not be able to see a difference between the time of ease and time of hardship, Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawzi(may Allah bless him) said in his book Uddat As-Sabirin wa Dhakhirat; " This is too difficult, and we are not instructed to be like this. Allaah has created us in such a way that we feel the difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and all that we can do is REFRAIN from panicking at times of stress. Patience does not mean feeling the same at both easy and difficult times. That is beyond us, and is not part of our nature" , and from experience and meeting people, this is one of the best scholarly definition of patience that I have come across. We are not to exceed the permissible limit, that is the real deal in patience.

What then is PATIENCE?

SOBR,(the Arabic meaning to patience) is the best way to describe patience. Patience, Sobr is an Arabic word derived  from the root"to detain", "refrain" or "stop". Literally, or linguistically, Patience is much more than what most people define it to be, or what they assume it to be.The TRUE patience that Allaah commands us, that the Prophet(peace and Mercy be upon him) encouraged us to have, is an attribute that involves CONTROLLING ONESELF properly, to remain away from what intelligence and ISLAMIC law determine one should stay away from, or adhere to.

From the hadith of RasuluLah, the term Sobr is used in several ways, or instances; the usage results in SUCCESS and VICTORY. 

It is a psychological attitude, not just a mere word that we find ourselves use carelessly, without meaning it or acting on it, or truly encouraging those whom we may be preaching it to as required by their situation. Patience is generic and it has distinct name and description

.

Again, I say "there is no ROSE without THORNS" I have not diverted from this, this phrase resonates  in two ways to me, the first is the concept of PATIENCE - sacrifices, actions, and their rewards or consequences.

rose with thorn.

Patience in term of our Worship to Allaah is the ROOT, it is what we are commanded to have and hopefully get rewarded for it. That is to carefully and consciously walk on THORNS in regards to Taqwah,  how we align every of our dealing while consciously fearing our Lord.  However we established that patience should never deviate from this. 

As narrated in an hadith of RasululLah where; 

Mustaurid al-Qurashi reported:

I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: The Last Hour would come (when) the Romans would form a majority amongst people. 'Amr said to him (Mustaurid Qurashi): See what you are saying? He said: I say what I heard from Allah's Messenger (ﷺ). Thereupon he said: If you say that, it is a fact for they have four qualities. They have the patience to undergo a trial and immediately restore themselves to sanity after trouble and attack again after flight. They (have the quality) of being good to the destitute and the orphans, to the weak and, fifthly, the good quality in them is that they put resistance against the oppression of kings.[Sahih Muslim]

The SHADES of PATIENCE.

the spectrum of patience, with beautiful REWARD, In Shaa Allaah.

Patience can mean HONOR, a very good example is the story of Prophet Yusuf, when he was said to be seduced by his mistress, but he patiently retrained from the demoralizing request to protect or control his honor, and staying away from such was him being patient within the situation and having his integrity preserved. Which is expected of every morally grounded human. You can be patient with your sexual urges by having self- control, of which the opposite is greed or lust, as said by scholars. There is an instance where the act of patient can mean discretion - staying away from that which may lead you to slandering or lying, by controlling your mouth from such, then you have patience in the usage of your words.

I remember most of the sisters at the Halaqa gave FORBEARANCE as their own understanding of patience, Forbearance is a very popular qualifier of patience, mostly used when there is a need to control anger, instead of taking an hasty decision, or overreacting. 

The spectrum of patience is so much that most of the time people get carried away and overlook one of the act of patience that I personally admire in one of the Sahaba of RasuluLah( May Allaah grant them Mercy), Omar Ibn Khattab; his COURAGE is an incredible act of patience. He was being patient by standing up firmly for the Deen, instead of running away or neglecting the right action. For instance, when he had to demote Khalid as the commander of the Muslim army, his reason was justified, but at that instance, not everyone agreed or understood his point, it took a while for Khalid to agree that their conflicts of opinions was for Allaah's sake as they both had a valid points, whereas the point of the leader supersedes others, as far as it is not contradictory to the rulings of Islam, and Allaah knows best. The Sahaba, from Seerah, knew what is good, they wanted VICTORY and the best act of patience was COURAGE purposely for success for Allaah's sake. 

Most of the times, we choose cowardice where we are supposed to be courageous, and we term it patience. We give in to oppression or abuse; forgetting that maybe the patience we needed was COURAGE. We forget that patience has to be in TERM with INTELLECT and ISLAMIC rulings - we pull more on our spiritual, mental and psychological health, we go for false patience which will earn us more harm, may Allaah help those who need to understand this part of patience. The patience that requires taking ACTION, not necessarily in relating with other people, but maybe on our own internal struggles, like limiting beliefs, self-doubts, procrastination, ego and the likes. Or even self-defence without violating.

Gracefulness and STEADINESS, which is agreeing to the DECREE of our Lord instead of hotheadedness, choosing sincere FORGIVENESS instead of revenge is another beautiful SPECTRUM of patience that has lost it's PURPOSE within our community, when we are supposed to STRIVE to refrain from taking revenge, or paying evil with evil; or you taking the pain to give out from that which you OWN, your GENEROSITY the neglected spectrum of patience- by genuinely choosing to go for patience when others go for stinginess or miserliness. 

At some point in our lives, patience may mean being INITIATIVE instead of being helpless, or blaming or accusing people. Those times when our best patience to go for is manliness. 

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity."

.......Sahih al-Bukhari 

These are TRUE definitions of patience as prescribed by Allaah. He who knows us, and what we can bear. Indeed, His Wisdom is Infinte. 

Allaah says: 

Al-'Asr 103:3

إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَعَمِلُوا۟ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ 

Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

Although, as imperfect being, we are not expected to exhibit all of these spectrum of PATIENCE. No! we are not wired that way, we are communal being, created to complement one another, who strive in the right company. This I have learned from the two old ladies. That is how connected we are, when one person needs a particular spectrum at one instance, others are supposed to give a hand, either by counseling, admonishing, or the person outsource the right help. That was the ways of The Companions, our predecessors, those whom we are expected to strive to be like. 

Patience, the ROOT to a serene life, the true obedient to Allaah; if only we can adopt the spectrum when it is needed. And this brings me to this: "where there is a rose there is a THORN".  

The abuse of PATIENCE, the neglect of human weaknesses, the forgetfulness that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It is unfortunately that most people know little about themselves, to talk of understanding other people, as a result, find themselves in situations where they fail to use the RIGHT patience, they forget that our life journey involves around PATIENCE but in different SPECTRUM, as requiredby TIME. 

Al-Baqarah 2:153

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱسْتَعِينُوا۟ بِٱلصَّبْرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ 

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.

Dear friend, maybe you own patience in regards to your situation is to be BRAVE, to maintain calmness, to tolerate, to persevere, or supporting others  but first you need to understand yourself and sincerely adopt TRUE patience in accordance to Allaah's commandments.  And most importantly do not get tired of striving, STRIVE, and hope for MERCY.  

PS: Some people may have strong patience in doing what is good, but weak patience in restraining from harmful actions; so be flexible when dealing with others, as our patience differ. True Patience is the best ACTION that can give spiritual joy, and good joy bi'idnilLah. Intention, shariah, shyness or consciousness of Allaah , accepting Qadar , and believe in CERTAINTY!!! And never forget we NEED patience to fulfil our obligations to Allaah. To think for of our choices in both life and HEREAFTER. It is said that patience at the time of ease is harder than at the time of adversity, so we are warned againt the fitnah. May it be easier on us. 

He who is patient, Allaah will bestow patience upon him. I pray Allaah grant you and I the strength to have full PATIENCE for His sake, to seek Mercy in life and hereafter. Aamiyn. 

[Reference:  tafsir Ibn Kathir, Be Patient and Paradise will be Yours(Durussalam books), personal journal and research. And Allaah knows BEST].

Az-Zumar 39:10

قُلْ يَٰعِبَادِ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمْۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا۟ فِى هَٰذِهِ ٱلدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌۗ وَأَرْضُ ٱللَّهِ وَٰسِعَةٌۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّٰبِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ 

Say, "O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account."

Have you ever wondered why this surah was named "The Group", indeed Allaah is the most Wise, Glory be to our Lord.

Seek noor

Dear Soul.

Dear soul seeking Mercy.

You have today.
You have NOW.

Why
Don't
You

Fight for NOOR.

Dear soul: appreciate the GRACE of Now.

Fight.
Let The Light of Faith be your motivation.

You have Now.
Seek Light upon Light.

You have Now.
Seek light through REPENTANCE.

Dear soul seeking Mercy.

You
Can
Do
It.

You are granted The Grace
For a reason.

You
Do
Your
Part.

Fight.
Fight dear soul.

Dear soul seeking Mercy.
REPENT.

Seek NOOR.

Dear soul seeking Mercy.

Bow

Dear soul.
Dear soul seeking Mercy,

Bow.
Obey.

Repent.
Believe

Wholeheartedly.

Bow: dear soul.

Seek solace in SAJDAH.
Bow.

OBEY.

Bow towards Mercy.
Bow to the obligations.
Bow to abide.
Bow as you seek Mercy.

Dear soul,
Bow to uphold the AMANAH.
The TRUST.
The trust given unto you as a believer.

Al-Amanah: that moral responsibility
Al-Amanah: that honesty required of you.
Al-Amanah: THE TRUST.

Bow to it.
Let the AMANAH reside in your heart.

 

Bow WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
The essence of your BELIEF.

BOW.

Bow to The QUR'AN in abiding by it.

Bow to the SUNNAH in accepting it.

Bow to the AMANAH.

Dear soul.
Dear soul seeking Mercy.

BOW.

Accept the invitation wholeheartedly.

BOW.

REPENT and bow.

Seek solace through wholeheartedness.
Seek solace in SAJDAH.
Seek solace through sincere OBEDIENCE.

Bow.

Submit
Dear
Soul.

Dear soul seeking Mercy.
Bow.

_________

"For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward."

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path."

Surah Al-Ahzab verses 35- 36

Seek Mercy through Obedience.
Do not be among the Foolish.
Bow.

Where is HOME? COVID-19, a message that home calls.

Where is HOME? 

Have you ever asked yourself what defines a home, or  how home feels like, especially if you are an immigrant like me. As an African immigrant to America, I know how it feels to be an outsider, a lone traveler, there are times that I ponder on where to call home.

 How can you grade the ease you feel wherever you are, and call it home? HOME!! It is that profound that  the dictionary confuses the definition of home.

Again, I ask you my friend, where is home on this journey of ours?
How do you feel at HOME?
 What defines home from your own perspective: is it your feeling, experience or the CORE?

"EVEN people whose lives have been made by LEARNING, sometimes find it hard to keep a fast hold on their habitual views of life, on their faith in the invisible -- nay, on the sense that their past joys and sorrows are a real experience, when they are suddenly transported to a new land, where the beings around them know nothing of their history, and share none of their ideas- where their mother EARTH shows another lap, and human life has other forms than those on which their SOULS have been nourished." ( Excerpt from Silas Marner by George Eliot).

Home, or how we define home is worth reflecting on, the  COVID-19 pandemic outbreak makes me ponder more as to where to really call home, or if we even have a 'home' in this transient journey of ours.

Of course, I see you agree with me that maybe we don't really have a home in this life. Well,  it is right, or slightly right.

Let us assume that we do not have a home in here: what is the PURPOSE of this journey?

One thing that I will love that you understand is that;without death, life is worthless; death adds meaning to life, if you have lost loved ones, you will definitely agree with me that most of the times, we get to realize how much those loved ones worth after their death, SubhanaLlaah!  So, what then defines our purpose of existence, our value , or do you deny that there is a purpose for your existence? Maybe I should construct the question as to how do you add value to your life, or the lives of others?  It is certain that we all are going to die, YOU will leave, I will leave, what do you wan to leave behind? What do you want to be remembered for?

On this transient journey, we have basic needs which will help our purpose achievable- make life WHOLE and fulfilling. We ought to understand that we have numerous choices in life beyond survival, we need to discover that purpose, and create VALUES and standards to integrate transformation into our lives by reconnecting and taking advantage of our INNATE power - maybe we can know what HOME means to us as an individual.

As we embark on this journey, we should be ready to evolve and recover what home means, that innate part of ours- located in our hearts, and tap into its power, and this is our struggle, each one of us go through that struggle and it is real: how we fight it is what defines us.

Home is love - with love we will discover humility, we will view our reality relative to our level of awareness or consciousness, then we will realize how home has ever been with us WHEREVER we GO, then we can make choices to decide whether to let our EGO, greed, destructive desires or negativity rob us of HOMELY feelings, the SERENE feeling that we are SAFE, by being MINDFUL and conscious of  how Supreme God is, and then maybe we can control our actions and thoughts; remember you cannot control death or how it will meet you, but you can control what you would be remembered for!

COVID -19 is never a coincident, it is a REMINDER, corvid, the black eyed birds;
[“Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?” – Friedrich Nietzsche]. I was talking to a learned friend of mine, who  is presently a member of WHO fellowship, which makes her get direct update about the pandemic, as well as how hard the CDC are working or researching on COVID-19, and she said, "nothing about this VIRUS makes sense", at least for now it doesn't make sense, it is confusing, not only because it is new, but it keeps the WORLD in a panic state; how ironic. An evident of how Mighty Allah is. AlhamduliLLaah.

It is unfortunate that we neglect the essential human needs; unconditional LOVE, guidance, safety,listening,being real,participating,acceptance,opportunity to grieve,respect,validation,tolerance of feelings(we even deny negative emotions, instead of responding to heal), SUPPORT,loyalty,trust,accomplishments,creativity,sexuality(yes, for the married)freedom, and above all NURTURING of our SOUL. We now live in a world of DENIAL, hatred,CHAOS,denial of reality and feelings(instead of taking appropriate actions),mistreatment,low self esteem,guilt and STRESS.

Maybe when this social isolation is over, the wise will realize how CONNECTED we are and supposed to be, as well as how important  KNOWLEDGE  is and how we strive in seeking the right and responding ones for our own sake. COVID-19 is a process and it will past, but it is a reminder to reflect on.

A reminder that this journey called LIFE is a process, you as an individual need to connect with the PURPOSE of that process, before you make sense out of it. The question is, are you playing your part? Do you know the purpose, and are you practicing it? Then you are HOME.

The earlier we start to be aware and AWAKE that innate BEAUTY, the earlier we will understand the CORE; then TRANSFORMATION and hopefully we can return home as a serene BEING- maybe, just maybe we can feel SAFE even in the face of global CHAOS.

Be fulfilled and realize where home is.

I pray that you and I are blessed with clarity and CONTENTMENT; I pray against emptiness and FRUSTRATION.

Soon we shall get there; HOME, if we are willing to go BACK with the right baggage, so we will not be on exile , nor have our hope vanished.

BE HOPEFUL ......nourish your SOUL with the right FOOD.
HOME is where you are YOU without neglecting your CORE.
HOME is LOVE.
HOME is that innate POWER.
HOME is where you BELONG.
HOME is your RETURN.
HOME is ever with YOU.
------------------------

"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient."

........Al-Hadid 57:16

Be AWARE

The voice I crave to share.....

Those who think they know, know nothing.

Those who are bold enough to ask are either being thoughtful or deceitful

Those who say the truth are bold enough to be vulnerable.

Those who don't say the truth are either careful or being foolish.

Those who turn out the hands of help earn nobody a reward but themselves.

Those who seek help are wise.

Those who don't ask for help when they need it, fools nobody  but themselves or they are being adaptive

Those who accept or question authority are being courageous

Those who assume what is not are being delusional

Those who are loyal followers will be nothing but great leaders.

Those who abuse their leadership power earns nobody's wrath but Allah's.

Those who are claim to be good observant forget the BLUR.

Not all you think is truth is true, get to the root or be just within the context.


Not all those who are quiet are introspective.

Not all those who talk are stupid.

Not all those who help you are feeding their EGO, some may be giving a hand.

Not all those who accept your help are using you, they may be giving you a chance.

Not all those who wander are lost, you better be careful what you feed your thoughts. 

Not all those who come out seeks attention.

Not everyone who reads this will have the same experience of IT.


BE AWARE !!!!


Why not be on the safer side.... be curious about ideas and not other people, or be intentional with your curiosity.



These are some of what I used to say when I was little and get beaten most of the times, except for my parents who taught me how to share my views. Today I am a year OLDER and I am grateful for GROWTH, my Parents, the power of perspectives, and INTERCONNECTION, AlhamdulLilLaAh!

 Again, I am grateful for soul connection, I am grateful for you reading this piece, no matter what relationship we share, I am grateful.


Every year I come off my cocoon, promise myself a new GOAL, share my VOICE without violating, TO LIVE and GIVE ROOMS.



make communication EFFECTIVE.
be clear about BOUNDARIES.
RESPECT other's boundaries.
be FLEXIBLE.





To
{

Live and give rooms.
Know your values.

Be strong, know your weaknesses.
Be beautiful, know your flaws.

Be wise, learn from your mistakes.

continue to fall in love with the process of being your best version.


Then,

laugh with your eyes,
smile with your heart,
hug with your soul.

And

Be so positive that people crave your energy.

}

Be prepared for hate
Brunt of jokes
But be Authentic

And  be
AWARE of everyone's UNIQUENESS.



____________________________



PS: DO NOT FORGET TO PASS THIS ON.

THANK YOU!!!!

Are you LIBERATED?

When people talk about "creating their realities", I always feel like a weird one, because I do not entirely agree with the saying.

Why?

How do you define your REALITY  when you refuse to face the one right in front of you? has always been my question. I find it hard to belief that we can neglect a phase which is supposed to be prerequisite to another.

As an enthusiast who loves to explore people, I realize how comparison syndrome is killing us all, how we fail to accept that our realities are different and unique. It is understandable that we can learn from other people or be influenced by others, but this should never have made us forget how our nature is similar to the minerals of earth, how our problems and experiences can not be fully identical.

Looking back at how challenging the first year of my migration to America was to my personality, how I have many realities that people refuse to understand, and how many takes it as the greatest achievement, I was finding it hard to adapt, as a private, strong willed girl of so many dreams, it was a so-so experience, and it was exhausting at the beginning, until I shut down many external plug ins, and that is one thing I love about myself, before anything, I respect my sanity, and this love for myself and my soul has been helpful when the going gets tough.

 Understanding and accepting Realities!

Every individual has its reality, it is pathetic as many of us see our realities staring at us, yet we refuse to accept it, we follow the crowd, aimlessly.

Why?

Social EXPECTATIONS.

You want to be good by everyone, (which is good), but is it detrimental to your purpose?

Yes,
No,
Maybe not....

I remember how people had so much to say, so many to advice, so many to teach, when I moved to America. My husband and I got married with a goal in mind, and as a team we play our roles towards the goal, our reality, and this did not stop people from having a thing or two to say.

A lot told me how I have to double my hustle,
How I need to shine my eyes,

Some tell me to be careful in the mirage, to not let the society get my kids.

Some even told my husband to not let his wife  overshadow him(lol).

And others told me to be independent, many others told me to take my time, that the country is a trap, and the list goes on.

Did anyone ask me what I wanted?

No,

Do they care about me?
Yes, they do, in their own way.

What is my reality?

I am a Muslim woman, I know my rights and my responsibilities, and I have a VISION.

To live a CONFIDENT and CAREFREE life. I have some many coming in, so many talking, so many looking up to me;  but, little or non listening. Or offer to ask me what I want.

We as humans, we have been carried away in what others expect of us, that we neglect ourselves. Our purpose, and our reality.

So, what is your reality?

To me, my reality is my present, the moment, and being in-tune with my inner state.

I wanna be good by everyone around me, but EH, what do I have on my table right NOW, and am I flowing with it?

Is my leg grounded on its root with my head up right and feet standing straight?

These are questions we should ask ourselves, our REALITY, not what we want to do to make others see how good we are, rather it should be how SANE we are, and how true, real, and SINCERE we are with that reality.

The pursuit of perfection limits our ability to be present and literally robs us of the vitality of life. We forget that our time would be far better spent in delving into how to heal the insecurity that catalyzed the desire for perfection. We live in a terribly misplaced goal,  often to serve as a compensation for what really troubles us, neglecting the present. Forgetting that we can only get CLARITY  if we are present in the moment and flow with it, we get delusional in fears, ego, and hate for ourselves. 

What I have observed from exploring people is that, most people don't sit down to truly analyze their reality, they do not take the time to go to the roots, rather they prefer to be spoon fed on what can work on the surface, they prefer to get a temporary dose of bliss, while it is true that we cannot get all that we wanted in this life, but, are we really making an effort to see through what impact we are making on the reality. Do we agree with our heads rather than our hearts, or vice versa, what do you truly pursue?

Who are you?
Who am I?

What are your traits of CONDUCT?

So many times, I really do wonder how people think they can neglect the NOW, while chasing the next.

My dear friend reading this,, I hope and pray that this write up helps you to practice MINDFULNESS, to be fully in tune with the reality that you have at hand, while truly striving for what you desire, that way, you can truly see through and beyond the BOX. That way, you can decide to explore and connect with YOU, to set your priorities rights, to answer the questions to who you really are and what you bring to the table.

Breathe,

Exhale,

Be present,

And yes,

How about you and I take a few moments to be in the MOMENT and embrace  gratitude.

To gain mental strength.

To be happy with YOU.
To find equilibrium and a calm state of MIND.To build your SELF esteem.

To be TRUE with your PRESENT.
To connect with your innate BEAUTY.To face the fear wholeheartedly and STAND Tall and BOLD.To get CLARITY.
To say YES
to your REALITY.

And STRIVE TO THRIVE.

Say YES to YOU.

In

Your

Present.

Sincerely.

Who are you?

Are you taking responsibility for your GROWTH?

How about you nurture yourself to be beautiful IN and OUT.

And STRIVE TO THRIVE SINCERELY. 

WHO ARE YOU?
.......and how are you contributing to your growth?

principle for GROWTH.

Yes please.

Now that everyone who writes is said to be depressed, I guess I am ready to claim that too, that I am depressed to how we fail to set our boundaries or how we do not let people know their limits in relating to us, and thus we keep them in a limbo. 

We enslave them in our own insecurities. 

So many times, I am seen people get frustrated over what others do to them, but they refuse to let it slip off their minds, and instead of making it cleared that they do not tolerate to be treated in a certain way, they rather prefer an approach which keeps the other person confused as to what kind of relationship they share.

Most of the time, we forget that people comes and goes in our lives, and all that we need is a sincere us and goal we aim to attain in that relationship. We forget that letting an issue slip, or talking it is different and much better than keeping it to ourselves, and then treating the other person in a passive manner aggressively. 

As much as it is understandable that so issues are better left, how about what it has done to our emotions or self esteem. We go in denial of our own emotions, instead of a proper approach to resolve the conflict, or personality clash.

Effective communication is very important in every genuine relationship, especially if it is long term, as this helps to resolve amicably and let every party know its stands in the relationship, without trespassing.

It will hurt, it will be hard but it is best to be resolved, if it will not go off our minds.

As much as people tend to abuse forgiveness, it is still better that you make them apologize for that which you think they did to you. And if truly they are interested in the relationship, you have to be on a common ground.

It is better and healthier to let people know how choked you are around them , or how miserable they make you feel when they cross the line. 

So many times we refuse to let accept our share of the cake, how our insecurities is enslaving us, just because we do not like to be called a troublemaker, neglecting the fact that unresolved conflict is detrimental to our relationships.

We all run away, but one person has to be the troublemaker, or we go at our distances for peace. 

I am depressed,

Yes I am,

To why we really never let it slip, but piling it up.

I am depressed to how we treat our closed by aggressively.

I am depressed to how the way to manage a passive aggressor is to be manipulative or being a passive aggressor.

I am depressed as to why we be in denial, claiming gentillity.

I am depressed to how we fail to call ourselves to orders sincerely.

I am depressed to how we think we run away from trouble, whereas we have trouble in how minds.

I am depressed as to how much we laugh and play but when conflict comes we run away, we run away because we are in denial, because we do not want to be seen as a troublemaker.

Yes,

I am depressed

I am a troublemaker

And I ask

Who are you?

Who am I?

And

I say,

What is really pulling us apart is SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS.